Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble (Part 1)

Where to begin? Yellowstone; big, beautiful, breathtaking, dangerous, crowded, calm…and somehow all of these at the same time. For what it’s worth, Yellowstone truly is one of the greatest National Parks in the world. As the worlds’ first protected park, Yellowstone has set the standard for others to follow.

In mid July, we are here at the apex of peak season, and the crowds are a factor that need to considered and countered. Luckily, the predictable pack mentality still dominates here, meaning there is a distinctive bell curve to the the day, with crowds building steadily from 9am through to 8pm. As the peak time for wildlife activity are from dawn to 9am, and from 8pm to dusk, the vast majority of visitors are completely out of sync with the natural cadence of this place.

With the exception of rainforest and a desert, this park has nearly every type of natural landscape and ecosystem you can imagine. Expansive meadows filled with grazing herds of Bison, Elk and Pronghorn Antelope. Rugged mountains, whose crumbling faces are home to Longhorn Sheep, Mountain Lions and Grizzlies. The thick woodlands house Black Bears and Wolves who prey on the larger game wandering through the open meadows.

In the creeks and gullies there are a plethora of small, furry and funny quadripeds: Red and Uinta Ground Squirrels scatter about in perpetual motion, chipmunks dash about looking like radio controlled cars with their tails in the air, and our new favourites, the Yellow Bellied Marmots, who calmly take in all of the madness from some handy vantage point.

The boys are entranced with all of the animal life and Josh becomes chief wild game spotter, displaying a real knack for separating the fauna from the flora. “Bear!” he yells excitedly as we cruise through a forest, and sure enough, we get our first encounter with a juvenile Cinnamon coloured Black Bear. Being able to observe these beautiful creatures ambling quietly through a hidden clearing is a unique privilege to be treasured.

It’s then that we encounter the most dangerous creature in the park; Touristus Americanae. There is something about this place that renders many completely oblivious to danger, sense or reason. People park in the middle of the road to snap photos of every living thing, or loudly and arrogantly blunder towards 2000lb beasts with children in tow, or towards predators higher up the food chain as if this is some sort of primeval petting zoo. A special mention goes to the girl who got medi-vac’d out after putting her arm around an alpha male bison for a selfie, and to the imbecile who got locked up for walking over pristine thermal pools. You guys really are the créme de la crime of 2019.

Yellowstone is of course most famous for it’s geothermal activity, and that deserves a post all of it’s own so watch out for Part 2 in a few days.